REALLY ?

So today has started out rainy and freakin cold.. Love it.
My youngest is sick. That is really NOT cool. There is nothing worse then a 2 year old being sick. Not runny nose sick, but I mean sick running a fever throwing up. For the second day now. Fun times. I love it.

So, I have been at my mom's now for a few months. I am ready to move my family on to the streets, because that's how well it is going. It's not bad all the time. I'm doing my part, even a little more. I think that they are just ready for quite. My kids are NOT quite. They are young. Well two of them are, I have a 9 yr old, a now 6 yr old and a 2yr old.. My 9 yr old could be quite all day IF she wanted to. But the other two, come on they are kids. They are playing like kids. What can I do. We have told them what the rules are and they really do their best at sticking to that, THEIR KIDS... I'm to the point that I can either tape their mouths shut, or make my parents out to be the bad people. Guess what one I chose? As tempting as it is sometimes (really) I chose making my parents out to be the bad people. And ya know it still doesn't matter. They are still fighting, yelling and playin like kids.. What do you want? I'm not going to tell my kids not to be kids.

So to get us out of here faster, I've been TRYING to find a job. Wanna know how that's going? Well I'll just say it's 10:15 in the a.m. and I am writing this. I'm doing my best. I think that I am. But I guess that's not god enough for anyone. Not a lot I can do during the day. No one to watch the 2 yr old. I have gone to places on line, cuz pretty much everyone is doing things on line now. But it's hard to even do that when one of your parents are on the computer from the time they get up ( depending one the day) to the time they go to bed. I can't really get one until ,

1) the kids are ready and off to school.

2) the boyfriend is ready and off to work.

3) what ever house work there is , is done.

4) the baby is fed and either watching something or playing in the room.

So by the time I turn the computer it is time for the other parent to be home.
I swear I had one app filled out, and sent, I have to do something for my youngest and this other parent looks at the computer, and says " are you done?" (REALLY)
So I look at this parent and say " well I only filled out one app."
(other parent).." ok , but are you done?"

(me).." but... ugh what ever."

(other parent).." ok so your done."

(me).. "yeah I guess so" (storms off)

REALLY?... You want me to find a job, but for me to be on the computer annoys you, cuz what ever it is that you are doing on there, you can't. I can't leave my kid ( cuz there is only one during the day) because that kid can get annoying, not only that but your dog wants to EAT her, and its a pain to watch them both. What is left?

I have to keep reminding myself" I DID NOT WANT THIS, HE DID" I don't think that HE really understood me when I said this would be a living HELL.

I keep my fingers crossed, that a GREAT , FUN job will drop out of the sky and land right in front of me, and say " here I am just for you. Lets go"
Great Dream? A great dream that is so far out there that I can't even touch it with the tips of my fingers. Maybe I need sticky tape .

UUUHHGG...

(ME).." GOD... could you just hit the rewind button"?

(GOD).. " AHH HA HA HA HA HA.. Your cute"..

(ME).. " Damn"..